Snoopy's tap dance

Had my third chemo on Tuesday of last week. I decided after the first and second round that I wouldn't take any of the medications for nausea and pain they provide you to take after chemo and guess what... I felt better and got through the rough patch quicker than ever. So... Snoopy tap dance for me!!
Going to see the onc Doc tomorrow. I think he will do blood tests to see whats going on and will report back.
Sorry for the lag time in blogging. I have had several calls, emails etc. and didn't mean to alarm anyone. I am fine as frog hair and getting finer.
I hate to keep reporting the same old thing... blah blah chemo, blah blah testing, blah blah yucky days...
The truth is I still feel great and am loving life. I have an absolutely wonderful life... great husband, wonderful kids, adorable grandchildren, just all around great family. I am proud.
The thing is, I can't say, "I am going to kick this cancer's ass" because I don't know if I will or not. I will try my best but it's not "my" will be done, ya know?
I can promise this, if it is my time to go, I will handle that too. It is not like I'd be doing something I am not going to do sooner or later anyway... so I am sort of resigned to that. My life so far has been pretty wonderful and I have everything to be grateful for and I am.
I don't really believe in a one shot deal sort of life. I don't believe that you are born and you live and die and go to heaven or hell, end of story. I don't even actually believe in hell. Heaven I am still kind of hoping for! I respect tradition but I don't believe it is always the truth. I think we do come back time and again to live a life, often with the same people, with a common goal, to get to be the very best person you can be... I may need a few more lives to work on it. : D
I am not afraid. I don't fear death... and honestly, kind of look forward to it. I am not in a hurry to get there, but I am just here now and we'll see what happens. I am not in control, nor is anyone else... although there are many people you may never convince of that... they probably have ulcers.
I feel surrounded at all times with love and help and understanding and comfort and encouragment. I put familiar faces to these feelings and like to think of them as communications with others in my family that have died but are still very much alive. It is an amazing thing.