Nothing for Christmas

I have already gotten everything I ever wanted in my life... okay, well... I can think of a couple of items I wouldn't mind having, but really, really want... nothing. I have an awesome home, a wonderful husband, an absolutely full and complete family that just keeps growing.., wonderful friends that I will always cherish...  And guess what?! The PET scan came back today and that is exactly what it showed, NOTHING! And that is a good thing. Something.... would have been the "C" and nothing means if it is there, it is microscopic.

More chemo to come but after the holidays. A few more tests... but no complaints from me.

Dr. Canova is fairly amazed. To start with numbers as high as I had...

And you know, I owe it all to you. Your love, prayers and existance in general...gave me all the strength I needed. Thank you.
Thanks for nothing!!   (hee-hee) 

The latest news from the Doc

He hasn't exactly said I can take a chemo vacation... but then Dr. Canova hasn't exactly scheduled another round yet either. We are going to do a PET scan this coming week. This test is kinda weird but painless. You can't eat any carbs or sugar or caffeine (?)  for a couple of days before the test and then they shoot you upwith radiated glucose and do a full scan. The sugar in the glucose goes straight to any cancer and the radiation lights it up. If there is any. If they don't see anything, we are good. If they see a small area... they will probably give me radiation. Radiation will treat the smaller area rather than using chemo... and treating the whole body, giving you all the additional side effects. I have had seven rounds of chemo. I always

liked that number. Sounds like a good place to stop.

So, what comes after that??  If they give you chemo and the bad cells die off... and you stop chemo, do they come back??  The statistics say that after initial remission.... like what I am going into, 70 to 90 % of people have a recurrence. Remission, as defined for the big "C" doesn't mean it is running away... waving a white flag and giving up. It means that the level of cancer cells has been diminished to a number hopefully close to the "normal" range and that number is no longer reducing after chemo. Or radiation or surgery.

 You never really get rid of it. Kind of like a sorry ex-husband. LOL! But hey, there are people out there that have had stage 4 ovarian cancer and are still going 20 years later. It is really not in my hands. All I can do is take care of myself, enjoy my life and let it GO! I am actually pretty good at that. If it comes back, I will just deal with it then just like I have now. Like, duh, there is an option. I read another stat the other day... there are 150 people diagnosed with some form of cancer every hour.  I am not unique. I have a common illness that can be treated and often with great results. That is what I am going for. I am healthy and strong and maintain a good mental attitude. Don't under estimate the good mental attitude part. It moves mountains. I listen to so much good stuff...at least an hour or so a day... I adore Louis Hay, Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer... but I tend to listen to Louise more than anyone. I just really like her. Her philosophy is mainly that you create your state of being with your thoughts and your thoughts can be changed. Simple. Have you ever heard someone say, "Life sucks!". That is a pretty negative declaration and guess what... I bet their life does suck. How about "If it isn't one bad thing, it's another." (yeah, I have said it a bunch too) Guess what, bad things will come.  And it is so easy to change!  "Life is beautiful .  I love my life. I feel wonderful and wonderful things happen to me every day. I get better every day. I can do this. I can do anything!" 

I don't know any more than the next person, the real truth about this incredible universe we live in... floating through time and space on a little ball... God, Yahweh, Buddha, Shiva, Confucius... but I believe there is a higher power and it wants to give us what we affirm that we want. Our words are so powerful. So precious. Chose your words wisely. Tell (insert belief system here) what you want and do it in present tense. "I am strong and vibrant and happy and whole and I thank (do it again) for all my blessings, everyday."

P.S. Photos are all from NASA.gov. Incredible universe, isn't it? 





Woooooohoooooo!

I feel like a million bucks!

I have 2.5 lbs of butter, about 2 dozen eggs, 2 quarts of heavy cream, a quart of half and half, a large variety of really good chocolate, candied fruits, bourbon, rum, assorted nuts, 10lbs of sugar, 10 lbs of flour, a new bundt pan and everyone coming over for Christmas dinner. I just don't know where to begin! Think I'll have another cup of coffee and dive in. (sorry the pic is not so hot... my camera phone only does so much...)


Seriously, this has been the easiest round so far. A few side effects, nothing I can't deal with...

It is a gorgeous day. I love South Florida Winters!! The high today is going to be around 72 and the low tonight will be about 48 which is COLD to us... so we can have a big fire, on the patio and inside!! Probably with the windows open. (we are not above building a fire and turning the air conditioning on!)

I am thankful. It has been a challenging year. I am ready to say good bye to 2010 and welcome 2011 with open arms.

My daughter in law, Kara, and my two oldest grand children, Griffin, who is 11 and Alana who's 7, moved away in the Spring to rejoin their husband/daddy, who'd spent a long time in Afghanistan... and move to Hawaii. This was after living with me and Hubbie for almost a year. What a hole that left. Charlie and me are just overgrown kids ourselves so having them to love on and play with was beyond wonderful. What a gift the time spent with them was. Thank you, Kara.

But then they handed me a diagnosis and I was sort of glad they weren't here to go through all of this in person. Early on, I sent Niles (my oldest son and daddy of Griffin and Alana) a picture of me with my newly bald head... Hubbie had just shaved for me.

I talked to Griffin and asked if he'd seen it and his perfect comment was,

"Yeah, what the heck is that all about?!"

Gotta love the honesty of kids.

Anyway, I just wanted to holla and say that I feel great! I am as surprised as anyone... and oh so thankful.

SO now I am going to listen to Harry Conick Jr.'s Christmas music and get busy! Here is some eye candy for whoever has a sweet tooth !

Can I get an "Amen!" on that one!

Ding, ding, ding....

Chemo day done. Nurse Susie told me she had no further orders to give me more treatments... but I gotta hear it from the Doc before I fully believe I am DONE with chemo. I'll be seeing him again on the 10th and we will see what he says. That'd be sweet.

Speaking of sweet... I made a rum cake this morning that I took with me to all the guys at my oncology place. It had about 2 cups of rum in it... soaked through the whole cake along with brown sugar and butter. I am saying DANG!. That went over well!

Lots of people ask what it is like to get chemo. I certainly didn't know before... that they put you on a table in a big cold room and pluck all your hair out, slowly.

Nah, not really. I go to a really nice building with my Doc's office... and many other Doctors and Nurses, Vampires, etc. Half the building is "The Chemo Room"... huge, long, full of T.V.'s and recliners. I can't be bothered with any news network and their bullshit so I plug in my MP3 player.

They get you all comfy and tuck blankets around you and pillows under your head and hook you up to an I.V. They give you several easy meds, for nausea and allergic reactions. I think the allergic reaction medicine may be sort of not that necessary.. but taking Benedril by I.V. puts all the patients to sleep. It knocks me out like Mike Tyson for about an hour... I fought it today for a while but I finally caved and had a short nap. So after about 4 or 5 different medicines, they start the chemo I.V. and that takes a about 2.5 hours... It doesn't hurt. I will feel pretty good tomorrow and kinda poopie Saturday and Sunday... I will put in a lot of couch time like this picture... my dog, Birdie holds me down on the couch.

Its a little boring but the nurses come in and make you laugh and we have some fun. I was limited from where I was sitting to take any decent pictures. It is sorta fancy schmancie.

And the people that work here are mostly awesome. My Doc's nurse, Corey, is the most supportive and encouraging person I have ever met. I don't know how she does it but she makes people feel like they will be fine and it really, truly helps. Not just me, but she spreads her special magic all around to each patient. I haven't met anyone that is the stereo typical, calloused type... (except for the "former" receptionist... but that is another story).

Really though, their job is hard and they put their hearts into helping people, not just their knowledge an expertise... that too but... they really put their hearts into it.

So I made them a kick-ass buttery, sugary rum cake, still warm from the oven, cause that is how I love people.

And then I took this picture, trying to capture the awesome sunset while driving home in busy traffic on a 2 lane, double yellow lines, curvy road... with my arm out of the window and my camera backwards... cause that's how I drive.