Back in the saddle again....

Today I begin again. My life has been on hold for weeks it seems and today, I am going to meet with my employer and start to get things back on track. It feels good and I am nervous. Silly, I know but I could hardly sleep.

I cannot remember a time since I was a kid when I didn't work. Not being able to go to work or earn a living does something bad to you. (It also does something really bad to your bank account and that only makes things worse.)  I know my self worth isn't based upon my income, or my car or my clothes etc., but damn... working is an old habit/responsibility that always kept me going when I didn't really believe I could. And not being able to do anything but shuffle around the house made me feel like a useless lump. I am excited to get back to work and contribute something besides homemade soup and apple butter.

So, if you are getting ready for work today and thinking you wish you didn't have to.... and sure we have all done that countless times... just remember to be thankful that you can work. 

Work is love made visible.

And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy.

- Kahlil Gibran

I am so appreciative that while I have been off, I have had my little sanctuary here for my recuperation and my Hubbie to spend almost everyday with me. We have never had the chance to spend so much time together on a daily basis. That part has been incredibly awesome. Of course, we both felt pretty poopy and guilty for being here and not doing the countless chores that always need done to your home but, that is okay. Chores will always be there.











Some days it has just been so hard to get up. On many of those days, I will come to this blog and read your past comments. What a tonic. Your words continue to inspire me each and every day. I really can't thank you enough.    

Here is a little more from Mr. Gibran... a favorite poet of mine and countless others... It explains better than I can, how I love you.

Hope your day is perfect in every way. 

On Love

      Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."
      And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:
      When love beckons to you follow him,
      Though his ways are hard and steep.
      And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
      Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him,
      Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
      For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
      Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
      So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth. Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
      He threshes you to make you naked.
      He sifts you to free you from your husks.
      He grinds you to whiteness.
      He kneads you until you are pliant;
      And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
      All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
      But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
      Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
      Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
      Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
      Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."
      And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
      Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
      But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
      To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
      To know the pain of too much tenderness.
      To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
      And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
      To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
      To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
      To return home at eventide with gratitude;
      And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.