How it works

Because so many have asked me how I got through these last several months... I want to share with you what I think helped me.

In the first place, I really shouldn't be doing as well as I am. Stage 4 that has spread to other organs and the lymph system is worse than a kiss from the Godfather. But, I am doing really well and there is hardly a trace left to find with the highest technology available today.

I am not special or amazing or any of those things. I am just another person, out of 3400 Americans diagnosed every day. Someone dies as a result, every minute of every day.

For me, I knew I had to maintain a positive mental attitude. I can be depressed just like anyone else and it is a downward spiral that sucks you deeper and deeper into depression that is much harder to get out of than to avoid all together.

A good friend had given me a book by Louise Hay a long time ago called "Heal your body". It was all about how we think and how what we think manifests itself in our lives. I had almost forgotten about the book and stumbled across it almost by accident (are there really any accidents? )  I went online to find out more information and discovered that there were quite a few books by Louise Hay that I hadn't heard of. I downloaded many books and listened to them everyday, driving to and from work and while at chemo every three weeks (5-6 hours) to avoid listening to CNN.

The very basic definition of what she teaches is that you create your life with your thoughts.... and... you can change or control your own thoughts; choose to be happy or sad, sick or well, resentful or accepting, negative or positive. Over and over I listened to her sweet voice telling me that I could be strong and well and whole and happy and I submerged myself in these positive affirmations.

One of the first things I noticed was how my drive to work changed. It is a 30 minute drive on average... either through town with a lot of lights or via I 95 where people zoom past you if you are going 80 mph. Driving to work was like entering the Indianapolis Speedway and I felt I had to compete with all the other drivers and deliver the appropriate gestures.... mainly the gesture involving my middle finger.

Louise encouraged me to think that all the drivers around me are good drivers and I am safe and secure on my commute to work. Previously I thought everyday that all the drivers on the road were complete idiots and that I feared for my life each day driving with them.
I began to actually ENJOY the drive and still do. I am divinely protected.

I think my Doc thought I was a little strange because I was genuinely so happy every time I came into the office. Trust me, there are a lot of sad people there. But nope, I wasn't sad, I was just dealing with it as it came. This was a challenge and I accepted it and determined to handle it the best way that I could.

Along with practicing positive affirmations with Louise, I had so many people praying for me. I could feel it working. This is not a miracle. This is how it should be.

Okay, so lets take God out of it just for the sake of argument. There is good and evil. I think most everyone could accept that. Or fear and love. Everything we say or do comes from one or the other. When we pray or... speak positive affirmations or meditate or simply think in a positive manner, I believe that we connect to everyone who is doing the same thing all over the world. Collectively, we are strengthening one or the other. It works the same in the opposite manner, if we are negative.  For example, watching CNN and buying into a collective, negative thought pattern as everone in the US at the same time (24/7) is saying or thinking "Oh my, that is just horrible. The whole world is going to hell and there is nothing we can do!" 

Remember Henny Penny??   "The phrase "The sky is falling" has passed into the English language as a common idiom indicating a hysterical or mistaken belief that disaster is imminent." (wikipedia)


Death is about the only thing I know of that is definietly going to happen to us all. And it isn't a hysterical belief of disaster but a natural and beautiful thing to do. I feel the collective energy of my whole family surrounding me with love whether they are dead or alive, it makes no difference. It is like a pool of positive love and energy and they are all asking  "Isn't the water fine?".  I just want to jump in that pool of happiness and live from there, now.

So don't waste your life thinking negativley about anything at all. Let all of your words be kind ones and love every single person you encounter. We are all part of a collective, good or evil, fear or love... we are all the same.
Just choose to be happy and live that way as hard as you can.