Facebook and allowing

I saw a picture just this morning of a friend that I haven't seen or talked to in almost exactly 30 years. And she looks as adorable as she did the last time I saw her. That is what makes me love facebook. All the other stuff, I don't need.
Sometimes I think that looking back over your life can be a good thing. It can be cathartic.
As implied by the definition found in the Oxford English Dictionary, a cathartic experience may refer to a process of releasing pent up emotions, for example by listening to music.  That is what I think of when I refer to cathartic and I only say this because I knew there was another definition.
In medicine, a cathartic is a substance which accelerates defecation.

Same thing I suppose. It is good to look back through life and empty out the drawers and photo albums in your head. But don't stay there too long because it keeps you from living right this moment. I think that's another good thing about facebook, it keeps you in the moment and that is where we all live.
Right here, right this second.

Right now, I am a tired little camper.

Yesterday I saw Dr. Casanova. I noticed Corey, his nurse and adorable person, dipped out of the room quickly and said something about him wanting to talk to me. He always talks to me... at length and I felt my stomach sort of drop. 

He wanted to tell me that I am doing really well, and I don't look ill but actually, very healthy... my blood work is good, everything medically is fine, other than a low grade temperature.
"People will look at you and just think you are back to normal, but you have to allow yourself the time to heal." 

He actually told me that I should only do in my work, "whatever brings you joy and the rest of it, tell them to fuck off, you aren't doing it." He is Argentinian but grew up in Italy so you have to imagine this accent. Its great. I have never heard him drop the f-bomb.

In fact he wants me to only work part time, as he said, "until you have a full head of hair".  I said, "Hello, it all just fell out again!"
He smiled. "I know. That is a good sign, a gauge for you. I know what chemo does to your body that you cannot see. So take 6 months and allow yourself to heal."

He knows the stress of work, dealing with cancer patients every single day, his own office and staff... and his family. He said, "I had a good screaming fight with a nurse today, and it actually felt pretty good."

Okay, I was sort of stunned by that remark. But, he really was in a great  mood.

The truth is, I have a stressful job.... in very pleasant surroundings and with some of the kindest people I know. I wear a pile of hats. Busy, busy, busy all day and always more new projects to work on but, no extra hours in the day to do them. Stress comes from always living in the future, when you can have all your jobs done, but that time never comes... so you just stay in a constant state of stress and wanting to be some place you aren't.

I told the doc that I am fine. Okay, I work and get home around 6, cook dinner, read a book or watch a movie, fall asleep and go to bed. On weekends, I sleep and rest and do house worky stuff and get groceries, try to see my family... but I am pooped. Then the week begins again.

My doc said to cut back the hours and the job description. Take an extra day off to rest so on the weekend, so you feel like doing something that brings joy to your life. Even a walk on the beach or a park or whatever. "If you are too tired on the weekends to do that, your are too tired to heal."

He is right.