He hasn't exactly said I can take a chemo vacation... but then Dr. Canova hasn't exactly scheduled another round yet either. We are going to do a PET scan this coming week. This test is kinda weird but painless. You can't eat any carbs or sugar or caffeine (?) for a couple of days before the test and then they shoot you upwith radiated glucose and do a full scan. The sugar in the glucose goes straight to any cancer and the radiation lights it up. If there is any. If they don't see anything, we are good. If they see a small area... they will probably give me radiation. Radiation will treat the smaller area rather than using chemo... and treating the whole body, giving you all the additional side effects. I have had seven rounds of chemo. I always
liked that number. Sounds like a good place to stop.
So, what comes after that?? If they give you chemo and the bad cells die off... and you stop chemo, do they come back?? The statistics say that after initial remission.... like what I am going into, 70 to 90 % of people have a recurrence. Remission, as defined for the big "C" doesn't mean it is running away... waving a white flag and giving up. It means that the level of cancer cells has been diminished to a number hopefully close to the "normal" range and that number is no longer reducing after chemo. Or radiation or surgery.
You never really get rid of it. Kind of like a sorry ex-husband. LOL! But hey, there are people out there that have had stage 4 ovarian cancer and are still going 20 years later. It is really not in my hands. All I can do is take care of myself, enjoy my life and let it GO! I am actually pretty good at that. If it comes back, I will just deal with it then just like I have now. Like, duh, there is an option. I read another stat the other day... there are 150 people diagnosed with some form of cancer every hour. I am not unique. I have a common illness that can be treated and often with great results. That is what I am going for. I am healthy and strong and maintain a good mental attitude. Don't under estimate the good mental attitude part. It moves mountains. I listen to so much good stuff...at least an hour or so a day... I adore Louis Hay, Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer... but I tend to listen to Louise more than anyone. I just really like her. Her philosophy is mainly that you create your state of being with your thoughts and your thoughts can be changed. Simple. Have you ever heard someone say, "Life sucks!". That is a pretty negative declaration and guess what... I bet their life does suck. How about "If it isn't one bad thing, it's another." (yeah, I have said it a bunch too) Guess what, bad things will come. And it is so easy to change! "Life is beautiful . I love my life. I feel wonderful and wonderful things happen to me every day. I get better every day. I can do this. I can do anything!"
I don't know any more than the next person, the real truth about this incredible universe we live in... floating through time and space on a little ball... God, Yahweh, Buddha, Shiva, Confucius... but I believe there is a higher power and it wants to give us what we affirm that we want. Our words are so powerful. So precious. Chose your words wisely. Tell (insert belief system here) what you want and do it in present tense. "I am strong and vibrant and happy and whole and I thank (do it again) for all my blessings, everyday."
P.S. Photos are all from NASA.gov. Incredible universe, isn't it?
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