The next step

Apologies for my delay in writing. It is hard to believe that it has almost been a month since the surgery! I am healing nicely. The oncologist told me that the tumor marker (CA-125) is down to about 300. Tumer markers are like a gas gauge on the car. It is a simple blood test that shows the level of your particular type of cancer. I started at 16,000. Dr. Canova recently told me that when we first met, I broke his heart ...so I guess he didn't know what the outcome would be because 16,000 is wicked high. I had no idea. Now I know that normal is between 1 and 15... so damn, it was high! And 300 is too high still so I start chemo again today. This should be my next to last treament for awhile. The good news is that without all the real estate the surgeon removed, the chemo really targets the remaining cancer.
Now, I have a question for you guys... obviously I started this blog because of the cancer and my inability to actually "speak" about it. I have always felt more comfortable with writing than with talking. I will be done with cancer in a few more weeks. We will continue to monitor the CA-125, watching for any rise in those numbers so we will know if it comes back... but for the most part, I will be done. (Isn't that amazing?!) The deal is, I don't really want to stop blogging! I love talking to all of you through this computer. So, I am thinking of starting a new blog... and I want to know what you think.
Since I was a very young girl, I have dealt with a lot of death. My beloved grandfather died when I was only 4 or 5. My Aunt Florence, the definition of everything that is Christmas to me, passed away when I was about 11. My dad, when I was 13. My son, when I was 22. How this effected me was to realize how fragile life is... how much we all take for granted and how quickly our little worlds can change.
Well, that is sad, but I eventually realized that I had received so much from these people that could never go away and that if I didn't get something positive out of the deaths, they would be wasted. That they would have died for nothing. What I got out of their deaths was to simply realize all of this. Life is fragile. Appreciate everything in your life, every day. (every second of every day!) With each of those experiences, I carved out a deeper well of appreciation. But, we do get complacent and need reminders every now and again. My fling with cancer has tested me and my resolve. My well of appreciation is deep and full and I am strongly reminded of how fragile even my life is.
You are my number one, center of all that I appreciate right now. You. If you were here and I could hold you, we could cry together for each other. I love you. Thank you for being with me through all of this. I haven't actually cried since I was diagnosed... but tears are falling now, my friend.

All my love...