I began writing this blog last May.. I think, or maybe June.
At first, I was reluctant and shared it with only a few people. It was so personal. I had some growing to do. I had just been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and it sounded a lot like a death sentance.
I didn't know how things would turn out. And, well.... I didn't want to start a blog with all my friends and family and then... croak, and have a blog hanging around out there in cyber space. Ewww.
I have since gone through a bunch of chemo, surgery, etc. and responded to treatment remarkable well.
The dred threat of it returning will probably always be there.
When you are handed a particularily tough situation, it is in a way, a priviledge... something out there is telling you that you are able to handle it. Its an opportunity to either grow from it and get something good out of it or just give up and watch your toes roll up and disappear under that house that fell on you.
I simply took things as they came and worked on staying positive and happy and breathing, one minute at a time. I am not amazing or extraordinary... more like extra ordinary.
The weird thing is, we are all finite so why are we shocked and saddened by death? Everybody dies, and on some level, we must realize this. We just usually never know when, so we pretend to not realize it and live as though we have a zillion more sunsets to take in so whats the big deal about this one?
You may never see the last person you just talked to again. Tonight may be the last chance you have to make the person you love a nice dinner... or tell them you love them... or go for a walk.
I do believe you can choose to be happy.
It isn't always easy, but it is definitely a choice and almost always the better choice to make. And no matter what you are dealing with, and we all have shit we are dealing with, you can take the moment you are in right now, right this second and breathe in, slowly.... a big deep breath and exhale and remind yourself to choose happy. Don't spend a lot of time worrying about anything. Worrying seems to always be about something in the past or in the future. You are not in either, you're here, right now.
In this very moment, I am happy, and feel great and am full of love and cake! Right here, right now everything is wonderful. I am not worried about a thing.
The next time you are in a situation you don't like, breathe and remember to only be in this single moment of existance, and control your emotions to only feel happy.
Rolling in a big pile of fall leaves happy..
At first, I was reluctant and shared it with only a few people. It was so personal. I had some growing to do. I had just been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and it sounded a lot like a death sentance.
I didn't know how things would turn out. And, well.... I didn't want to start a blog with all my friends and family and then... croak, and have a blog hanging around out there in cyber space. Ewww.
I have since gone through a bunch of chemo, surgery, etc. and responded to treatment remarkable well.
The dred threat of it returning will probably always be there.
When you are handed a particularily tough situation, it is in a way, a priviledge... something out there is telling you that you are able to handle it. Its an opportunity to either grow from it and get something good out of it or just give up and watch your toes roll up and disappear under that house that fell on you.
I simply took things as they came and worked on staying positive and happy and breathing, one minute at a time. I am not amazing or extraordinary... more like extra ordinary.
The weird thing is, we are all finite so why are we shocked and saddened by death? Everybody dies, and on some level, we must realize this. We just usually never know when, so we pretend to not realize it and live as though we have a zillion more sunsets to take in so whats the big deal about this one?
But, you never know.
You may never see the last person you just talked to again. Tonight may be the last chance you have to make the person you love a nice dinner... or tell them you love them... or go for a walk.
I do believe you can choose to be happy.
It isn't always easy, but it is definitely a choice and almost always the better choice to make. And no matter what you are dealing with, and we all have shit we are dealing with, you can take the moment you are in right now, right this second and breathe in, slowly.... a big deep breath and exhale and remind yourself to choose happy. Don't spend a lot of time worrying about anything. Worrying seems to always be about something in the past or in the future. You are not in either, you're here, right now.
In this very moment, I am happy, and feel great and am full of love and cake! Right here, right now everything is wonderful. I am not worried about a thing.
The next time you are in a situation you don't like, breathe and remember to only be in this single moment of existance, and control your emotions to only feel happy.
Rolling in a big pile of fall leaves happy..
Wedding day bliss happy...
Whatever brings a smile to your face... think of that and make the choice.
If you can do it for a just a second, you can do it for an hour and if you can do it for an hour...
you can do anything, this one moment, at a time.
I already love you if you are here, reading this blog. For reals.
Thanks for sticking in here with me. I wish you knew how much I feel your love and support. It is tangible.
2 comments:
Your positiveness has ruled my life since you started this blog Billie, I have taken a lot of deep breaths.Because of you I decided I wanted to right a lot of wrongs that I have done over the years. I never stopped loving ANYONE! I just didn't know how to grieve and love at the same time, so I hurt the ones I loved.At this time in my life, I want to change that and remember the ones I lost and know it was an act of God and not something or someone. The whole thing mushroomed. It has taken 32 years to reinstate a wrong, but sister, in less than 24 hours, I will be on a journey to beat them all.
Deb and I are coming.Get ready!
Dearest Dixie,
As far as I am concerned, this thing I have been going through has all been worth it if for nothing else but to re-connect with you and hear you say what you just said in that comment. I know you never stopped loving. That is what you are, an extraordinarily loving person. Thank you for filling me with your sweet love for so many years.
I love you too.
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